Have you ever wanted to stop time? The moments I have wished for this were as I was playing with my granddaughters, on vacation with my daughter, all together with my family . . . and this morning as I lay in bed.
Last Sunday I faced one of my most painful days--not physically, but mentally. I found myself in a dark place, a type of depression. I cried. I wanted to curl up and hide. I wanted to throw down that angel statue I had mentioned in a previous blog and break off both her arms raised to the air for courage. (I hid her instead.) The Dr. had prescribed medication for this knowing it was part of the experience, but I had only been taking half dose. I realized that now was a good time to increase it. That night my sister made a special trip to drop off a goodie and while she was lying on the floor resting from a pulled back, and I was ready to kick the couch, we were able to laugh about the day.
This last week family came over to visit, shared lunches with me, and I began to see light again at the end of the tunnel. I’ve felt better each day and had a good week, becoming stronger daily, ready to meet this round beginning on Tuesday. I am entering this chemo with more strength than the other times, believing I will come out stronger to begin the next phase.
I reread a short quote I have posted on my desk, by a past Prophet and President of our church, Gordon B. Hinckley. He said, “Be believing, be happy, don’t be discouraged. Things will work out.”
What more can I say?
4 comments:
You go girl! You may have hard days, but you continue to shine with the same glow you always have, every time I see you! I love to sneak a peek at your cute shiny head and warm, glowing smile!
Good luck! Fica Firme! (That's "stay strong" in Portugese!
Love ya!
Sandee
I felt a little better about me being such a whimp when I read this entry. You definitely have a right to have a bad day once in awhile. Darn, I continue to ask why when I hear some of the things people have to deal with, especially my special niece, Karen. Please know that we are keeping the faith and praying for you daily. We love you!!
Karen! I was going through my emails and found yours. Oh, sweet forever friend...I would do this for you if I could. I wish I could. How wonderful of your family and ward to take such good care of you! Can we bring dinner in? Need anything fixed around the house? Need yard tended to? How about a creme puff from the temple cafeteria? Hang in there-you can beat this!
Karen, I love reading your blog on nights when I feel like I'm going crazy with things to do and kids at my ankles. Reading your words helps me realize what's important in life. It helps me be a better mother a better wife and a better person. Thank you for the time you take to share your thoughts. you are in my prayers!
Post a Comment