Moving Ahead

It was good news at my last Dr. appointment when I saw all my counts go up.  My white count is at 3.4 (up from 2.1).  Normal is 4-12 so I'm getting there. All the other counts went up, also. Yahoo!  She set up my 100 day tests (Ct scan and Pet scan) for the week of Feb. 14 and I will see her on the 24th for results, then she will release me to my regular oncologist.
    
I am mentally adjusting to the idea of going back to work and as I get stronger, the idea feels better.  Because my immune system is still compromised, I will need to be careful of germs, but I will wear my lovely duck mask and gloves.  Children are the most accepting about appearances.  I went hat shopping and found winter sales on hats I can wear to trade off with my wigs. My hair is coming in black, including eyebrows and eyelashes.  It will be interesting to see how it ends up this time.

A change in roles occurred this weekend.  My oldest son, Mark, was hospitalized for pulmonary embolism (blood clots in both lungs).  It’s serious and he was blessed to go to the ER when he did, (he was experiencing shortness of breath and not feeling well).  The Dr. said if he had waited two more days, he wouldn’t have made it.  They are doing several tests to determine the cause and one result will come back tomorrow.  That will help him know where to go from here.  I have been able to tend my granddaughters while his wife is with him and am so grateful I am healthy enough to do this and pray that they will stay healthy this week.  However, it’s hard for me to feel like I can be happy and go on with my life while he is in the hospital.  I guess that’s what my family felt during my hospitalization.  We know he is in the Lord's hands and that he will be guided through this and his little family  strengthened. As Mark told me during my battle, "the Lord is aware of what we are going through, but it may not be His will to remove the hard things."

I went to part of my church meetings today for the first time in six months.  It was wonderful to feel the same spirit and love in the group, that I had felt while I was home.  I sat in the back with my mask and left right after the meeting, thinking I will give it a few more weeks before I begin to mingle.  I am so grateful for all of their help on my journey.

My prayers are continual thanks for all that I have gone through and how well I feel now.  I still marvel at my freedom at home to choose when and what I eat, when to sleep, and that I have a cozy bathroom instead of a commode.  I love the Lord and my second (third?) chance at life!  I find myself asking, “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?” more often, and then doing it.