Today marks 100 days since my stem cell transplant. This is the often-talked-about marker of wellness for stem cell patients to work towards, when they are released from the hospital. 100 days ago seemed like light years away. Today I look back in awe and thankfulness at all the healing and miracles that have occurred. I had my final Ct scan and Pet scan on Valentine's Day to check for any remaining cancer cells, but I won't know the results until my visit with the Dr. on Thursday. I am feeling the best I have through this journey.
Meanwhile, it has been a cra•zy week! In my last blog I mentioned that my son, Mark, was hospitalized for pulmonary embolism. He was able to return home after a week’s stay and is continuing tests to figure out the cause and treatment. Four days after his return, his wife, Alisa, who is due with their third child mid March, had bad pain in the middle of the night and was taken by ambulance to the hospital with possible kidney problems. Luckily she was released the next day with pain meds and began to improve each day. It might have been a kidney stone.
Then my mother began feeling ill the end of the week of Alisa’s hospitalization and went to the Dr., but they sent her home with a fever and other symptoms over the weekend to wait until Monday for tests. When she went for the tests they sent her right over to the emergency room at Baywood Hospital where she was hospitalized (after a 10 hour wait) for an infected gall bladder and operated on the following day. She was released last Thursday, so we have been able to help her, with extra care from my sister who came down from Utah for the weekend. Whew. We hope we are done with hospitals at least until the baby comes.
This week, I will begin teaching again for three mornings a week until after spring break when I will begin full time. I am ready to go back, but it feels like the first day of school approaching and I have a few butterflies in my stomach when I think of going back out into the world. I continue to pray that God will guide me to those paths that He would have me travel during this second life.
I read this quote from Joseph F. McConkie’s devotional address at BYU: “It is not the design of heaven that we be rescued from all difficult situations. Rather, it is the Lord’s will that we learn to handle them.
The sense of being overwhelmed is very much a part of the journey. The power with which God clothes us in His holy temples does not imply that our journey will be an easy one.
As we accept our lot and move forward with what the Lord has asked of us, we discover that we enjoy the company of the Holy Ghost, angels feel constrained to join us, and the heavens open to our vision.” (Feb. Ensign, p.29)
I need to be reminded of this as I continue to travel my journey with angels. With my birthday two days away, it will truly be a celebration of life.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Moving Ahead
It was good news at my last Dr. appointment when I saw all my counts go up. My white count is at 3.4 (up from 2.1). Normal is 4-12 so I'm getting there. All the other counts went up, also. Yahoo! She set up my 100 day tests (Ct scan and Pet scan) for the week of Feb. 14 and I will see her on the 24th for results, then she will release me to my regular oncologist.
I am mentally adjusting to the idea of going back to work and as I get stronger, the idea feels better. Because my immune system is still compromised, I will need to be careful of germs, but I will wear my lovely duck mask and gloves. Children are the most accepting about appearances. I went hat shopping and found winter sales on hats I can wear to trade off with my wigs. My hair is coming in black, including eyebrows and eyelashes. It will be interesting to see how it ends up this time.
A change in roles occurred this weekend. My oldest son, Mark, was hospitalized for pulmonary embolism (blood clots in both lungs). It’s serious and he was blessed to go to the ER when he did, (he was experiencing shortness of breath and not feeling well). The Dr. said if he had waited two more days, he wouldn’t have made it. They are doing several tests to determine the cause and one result will come back tomorrow. That will help him know where to go from here. I have been able to tend my granddaughters while his wife is with him and am so grateful I am healthy enough to do this and pray that they will stay healthy this week. However, it’s hard for me to feel like I can be happy and go on with my life while he is in the hospital. I guess that’s what my family felt during my hospitalization. We know he is in the Lord's hands and that he will be guided through this and his little family strengthened. As Mark told me during my battle, "the Lord is aware of what we are going through, but it may not be His will to remove the hard things."
I went to part of my church meetings today for the first time in six months. It was wonderful to feel the same spirit and love in the group, that I had felt while I was home. I sat in the back with my mask and left right after the meeting, thinking I will give it a few more weeks before I begin to mingle. I am so grateful for all of their help on my journey.
My prayers are continual thanks for all that I have gone through and how well I feel now. I still marvel at my freedom at home to choose when and what I eat, when to sleep, and that I have a cozy bathroom instead of a commode. I love the Lord and my second (third?) chance at life! I find myself asking, “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?” more often, and then doing it.
I am mentally adjusting to the idea of going back to work and as I get stronger, the idea feels better. Because my immune system is still compromised, I will need to be careful of germs, but I will wear my lovely duck mask and gloves. Children are the most accepting about appearances. I went hat shopping and found winter sales on hats I can wear to trade off with my wigs. My hair is coming in black, including eyebrows and eyelashes. It will be interesting to see how it ends up this time.
A change in roles occurred this weekend. My oldest son, Mark, was hospitalized for pulmonary embolism (blood clots in both lungs). It’s serious and he was blessed to go to the ER when he did, (he was experiencing shortness of breath and not feeling well). The Dr. said if he had waited two more days, he wouldn’t have made it. They are doing several tests to determine the cause and one result will come back tomorrow. That will help him know where to go from here. I have been able to tend my granddaughters while his wife is with him and am so grateful I am healthy enough to do this and pray that they will stay healthy this week. However, it’s hard for me to feel like I can be happy and go on with my life while he is in the hospital. I guess that’s what my family felt during my hospitalization. We know he is in the Lord's hands and that he will be guided through this and his little family strengthened. As Mark told me during my battle, "the Lord is aware of what we are going through, but it may not be His will to remove the hard things."
I went to part of my church meetings today for the first time in six months. It was wonderful to feel the same spirit and love in the group, that I had felt while I was home. I sat in the back with my mask and left right after the meeting, thinking I will give it a few more weeks before I begin to mingle. I am so grateful for all of their help on my journey.
My prayers are continual thanks for all that I have gone through and how well I feel now. I still marvel at my freedom at home to choose when and what I eat, when to sleep, and that I have a cozy bathroom instead of a commode. I love the Lord and my second (third?) chance at life! I find myself asking, “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?” more often, and then doing it.
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